I still have 9 and a half fingers!!

15 Jan 2011, it would be an unforgettable day for my whole life...

8.30am : driving to office with happy mood, thinking of having fun after half day work

9.00 am : arriving office and start to work

10.30am : requested by manager to help the production line to cut stickers

12.15pm : finish cutting the first roll of stickers, got to know the existence of second roll

12.30pm : a careless strong slash of pocket knife, my left index finger lost a part!
















i was totally freak out that time...

believe me, the scene we saw in movie about how the blood spouting out like a fountain is real... i saw it happened on my finger...

immediately, they gave me first aid with a simple bandage and sent me to nearest clinic..

the doctor cleaned my wound with chemical liquor, i cried out with all my strength... it was the most painful touch i had ever experienced!

the very next moment, doctor stitched my wound twice, each was almost killing me, the "most painful touch" record had been rewritten by then..

two stitches, i could feel the pain piercing into my heart n lungs...

i asked myself : why would this happen to me?? why??

my manager felt so sorry for requesting me to do something beyond my task and causing this detriment to me...

but honestly, i did not blame anyone but myself..

after the medical treatment, i sat in her car, she asked me to release all the feeling, no matter scolding her or what, she could accept...

i told her, i had a thing to say, but it's useless for saying that...

HOW MUCH I HOPE IT WAS JUST A DREAM, A NIGHT MARE THAT I CAN WAKE UP IN THE END...

but i know, it's the reality... i lost part of my finger...

panic and fear revolved in my heart all the time... so did the pain get worse n worse..

i am afraid of getting infection, n losing a finger..

i am afraid of suffering from the severe pain for unknown period...

i am afraid of being abnormal to have a deformed finger...

i began to blame...

why??

why the GOD did it to me?

what have i done to bring this to me?

why must be me??














i went out with girlfriend n family, laughing with them like nothing had happened to me, but indeed, i couldn't forget the pain that existed every moment n second...

i was depressed.. thinking that, is that stupid to die just because of a finger? yes, it is very stupid, thus, i didn't think of die..

the painkiller was not effective to my large wound, i was suffering every pulse...

i wished that i could cry, but i couldn't, because i know that my mom would be very sad of looking me..

tears rolling in between my eyes and sockets.. i pulled it back.. to my heart...














friends in Facebook gave me a lot of supports, asked me don't be beaten by this, think optimistically, be strong,be tough...

but it didn't give any courage to me to resist from the attack...

- 哭吧!哭出来比较舒服的!

- let's cry! last time i cut my foot, i cried i shouted..depress.angry.sad.disappointed.and after that, nothing changed!so i decided to take good care of myself!:) buck up buddy:)

- those who are born disabled have done nothing to cause it as well. its life. don't question God (assuming there is one), because nothing will come out of it and it will just make you more depressed. think positive, 'at least its not a hand'... or 'at least its not my right hand'. its difficult but you have so many people around you to support you e.g. your gf. and think about it, people who don't have arms can train themselves to draw better than you using their FEET! what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! FIGHT!

- 小小的伤很快过去。。。。 忍忍忍忍忍忍忍忍。。。。。分散注意力。。。。 但愿你快点康复。。

start to have that energy to FIGHT BACK!!

received a call from a friend, she was my secondary school teacher, but we treat each other more like a friend...

she felt so sorry to my situation, asked me don't give up... she didn't believe much in fate, but she believed that for everything to happen, there must reason behind it... we may not see it promptly, but we will definitely see it in the end...

it motivated me thoroughly!!

yes!! i cannot change the reality!! i had injured my finger!!

i may or may not lose it, time will tell me..

it is very pain, yes, but be strong, fight with the pain!!

even if i lose it, i still have 9 and a half fingers!!

Aron Ralston, he dared to amputate his own fore arm with a knife, he lost it!! compared to him, what is my finger???














but yet, he thinks it in another way : i didn't lose an arm, i gained a life..

pain keeps on attacking me while i am writing this blog...

i have to be strong!! i must overcome the pain!!













PS : FIGHT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!